in your silences

you’re the reason i am where i am now
and where i am is nowhere near
you and your antics, your mistrials
your misfires or your silences

and where you were
was never where i’d been
we’d only sidestep,
dance, pretend

i’m the reason you are where you are now
and where i am is nowhere near
you and your songs, your rare smiles
your breath, your words, your promises

and where i was
was never where you’d been
we’d bash our hearts
together, then

you’d be the reason i am where i am now
and where i am is not quite clear
to you, or me, and all the while
i’m listening to your silences

i’m listening to your silences
i’m listening to your silences
i hear you in your silences
i’m with you in your silences

my own murder

time is no longer my accomplice

i can’t get away with my own murder
the way i could when days were without number

now each sun is an accursed gift
mine not to squander but to hoard jealously
to protect fiercely from flood and famine

i raise my fists in worshipful defiance
to find that they rest in my lap, open,
waiting for dreams to fall through
into the future of my past