has flown a single hour or countless days?
the truth exists between these two extremes.
our shadows pace down recollected ways
and passing time dissects the inmost dreams
did I first reach for you? or you for me?
or did we reach a silent compromise?
complicit anti-angels, we were free
from morals but not free from mortal lies.
the knife that cuts the deepest is too dull
for drawing lines between a whispered no
and shouted yes. and eyes, so over full
with tears they could not see, did tears forgo.
Thus passed some hours a year ago or ten.
Someday perhaps forget the why or when
No heroes in our shared mythology.
Few rights, much wrong, the gods have cursed this song
and yet, we sing it anyway. A plea:
atoning sins with volume ever strong.
Regrets weigh heavy, clinging vines of doubt
As kudzu, joining fear to fear to fear
‘Til all despairs are one – a mass without
A name or number, formless, vague, unclear.
We push against the weight; we watch for light,
and anthems, cool as water, soothe and calm.
In darkness, they are balm against the night.
We pause, and listen; yield, and yet- push on.
Solutions there are not to this our fate.
Abide, reside in solitude – and wait.
i consider desperate moves
dodges, breakaways, headfirst headlong dives into air
that smells of peaches and crawling mosses
my hand disappears into rock soft as sunlight
trapped, my head bobs on the surface of deniable waves
i turn, breathe, and surrender
to the terrible wonderful finality
of drinking down the day
i am awake, strangled
by half-composed tunes
that my subconscious sang for you
in my dreams i knew the words
but they have fallen from my memory
and i’m left with the ache of you
(the one thing i can’t forget)
the way to my heart
is through my ears
want to win me?
send me songs
mate melody with melody
confound me with lyrics
until i no longer comprehend
who you are
or who i am
until it doesn’t matter
until the only thing to do
everything falls from me,
coins into a waterless abyss.
words fall as anchors,
hair cords as lifelines
that i cannot grasp
(my arms have also slipped away).
i am floating, weighed down
by the gravity of my insides
which also betray me
by exiting with my breath.